First things first...

So this morning I woke up feeling very kinda lonely. I am married and have 2 children so to feel this isn't easy. The Lord (JESUS) has been really feeling very heavy on my soul this morning and it is a blessing because I have asked for this, I even prayed for it. But I forget how sometimes the Lord will pull you from everything else so that you can focus solely on him. It can be a lonely place where he puts you but in a good way. I have for quite some time now been feeling like I have lost all of my roots in my faith. Not my believing faith but my following faith, in my I feel him in me faith. I thought he had forgotten about me honestly, but I think in fact that it was and is the complete opposite. I can remember a time in my life where my faith couldn't have been shaken, you couldn't have made me think twice about anything. I am so lost in myself and in this world that I can no longer hear him in me. I have been praying for him to just come into my heart and overwhelm me with his Holy Spirit and here he is.

I am scared.
I am scared that if I follow him again I will fail again. I will not be what he is looking for in a follower. I do know that none of this is in fact true on his part but on my part I can suck lol. I am also in a marriage that my partner isn't soo into "God". How am I supposed to take that? There is a quote that reads, "A woman's heart should be so lost in God that a man needs to seek him in order to find her." I am scared that he won't seek him therefor never finding me. Don't get me wrong he's awesome, best kind of Father and Husband you could ask for but this is one thing  that I want so badly and I don't know that it will come to pass.

Well off to do some soul searching.....Got to find my right path.


XOXOXOOXXO
Until later,
 V

First day.....

Hey there all my name is Vanessa and I am very, very new to this so please hang with me. Hope all is well!!!!

XOXOXO